3-Nov-20
Pondicherry
The weather here is fabulous, warm but not as humid as Kolkata. We are staying at Sovereign Apartment on Caserne Street. This is the same place we stayed in December 2019 when we came to Pondicherry for the first time. G and I have a room each in our apartment, Karan and Rahul sleep in the living room. We took another apartment in the same building where Sanjiv, Kishor, Venky and Sanjay are staying. Both the apartments are booked for 2 months. G doesn’t want to go to US in the winter. Europe is out of bounds for visitors due to Covid.
There are hardly any tourists in Pondy but things seem normal, shops are open. Auroville and the ashram guest houses are closed though.
***
1:15 pm
I feel normal, feel no urgency or drive of any kind. I used to experience a lot of emotional upheavals in his presence earlier, now the waters are calm.
12-Nov-20
Pondy
He is sending Rahul, Karan and Sanjay back to Delhi tomorrow. Rahul and Karan were reluctant but G had made up his mind.
***
I canceled our zoom subscription today. He was unnecessarily paying $16 every month although we stopped using it after 30th Oct.
***
He got a bad cold yesterday morning after waking up from sleep. He texted me at 4:45 am “Are you up? I got cold. I need my salts.” I hurriedly brushed my teeth, came out of my room and knocked on his door. The moment he came out I saw it was pretty bad. He had a runny nose and his eyes were glassy. My insides twisted. I rushed to the kitchen and brought him a glass of warm water with salts. I started giving him this solution every half hour and he felt better after a couple of hours.
***
The lady from Canada has stopped communicating. She had a mental breakdown and had to be hospitalised sometime back (this is what she told G). She went off air after that. G agreed when I told him that she and her family must have been scared and thought it was G’s association that was driving her crazy hence she decided not to be in touch anymore. G asks no one to stay or leave. It is simply upto them. But that does not mean people can do whatever they want with him. When we are around him, we have to respect his space, his dynamics, else we are free to leave. “You got to understand that it is your need, not mine. If you don’t like me, please leave. I guarantee nothing bad will happen to you if you go away”, he says.
16-Nov-20
Sovereign Apartments
Pondy
Sometimes when I observe myself, I see most of the thoughts are useless and wasteful. The very awareness arrests them momentarily, then they begin again. But one thing is for sure, they don’t hang heavy anymore, they are like shadows or passing clouds. They don’t disrupt my flow or actions. The uneasiness in the body which I was so weary of earlier, vanished when the changes in my body started taking effect in the auspicious presence of G.
20-Nov-20
1:22 pm
Pondy
Revathi is about to arrive shortly at Pondicherry. She is flying from Detroit via Newark and Mumbai. She landed in Chennai a while ago and Karan met up with her. The two are driving down to Pondy. G made arrangements for their pickup. Radhika also got her Indian visa yesterday. She had put in a special request at the Consulate. Venky wants to come back soon. This place is going to fill up again! This is how it usually is around him. 4-5 people are usually around, sometimes less, sometimes more. The five months I got with him alone is a miracle that will probably never repeat itself.
***
I just finished cooking. Sanjiv made stir fried broccoli and potatoes with mustard and olive oil. There’s fried bittergourd and eggplants I made from yesterday, G’s favourite. I said we should make the Govindabhog and quinoa rice mix, so G took out measured quantities of rice and quinoa and soaked them in water. We have a rice cooker here, so its easy.
***
Yesterday G reminded me about my writing and said that I needed to think about incorporating my musical journey with him in the journal.
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